Spiritual Ponderings

Spiritual Ponderings: Psychic Opening at a Cocktail Party

2012-01-24T09:42:00.000-08:00

Spiritual Ponderings: Psychic Opening at a Cocktail Party: Tonight I was at a cocktail party at a resort I'm currently working at. I was invited here as a visiting practitioner to offer energetic hea...

Psychic Opening at a Cocktail Party

2012-01-24T09:40:00.000-08:00

Tonight I was at a cocktail party at a resort I'm currently working at. I was invited here as a visiting practitioner to offer energetic healing, readings and workshops to the guests. It is a a haven for the very wealthy and in many ways it all feels a bit surreal, but I came with an open mind and the desire to share my work and earn some decent income to help support my family back in Bali.

I have been studying and practicing energy healing for quite some time, and I also spent a year in circle with a teacher who is a well known medium from England. During my studies I would sometimes pick things up from Spirit, but often I would only get bits in pieces. It seemed I would never become a medium which was further hammered into me when my former teacher and close friend got pretty mad at me and shouted: "You'll never be a medium! You can heal people but you're not a medium." I was shocked and hurt by this statement, but I thought that he might be right. I had once been so psychic as a child, but that gift had long left me, or so I thought.

Tonight at the cocktail party I volunteered to do some mini readings with my cards and runes. It was meant to be just a taster for the guests. A few people came up to me and I gave them quick readings which went well. I was feeling pretty good, but then an older woman came and sat next to me. I asked her if she wanted a reading and she said no, I don't want you to use any cards, but if you have a message for me than please tell me. I was put on the spot. She was looking into my eyes as if to say: do you really have what it takes to be a real psychic? I held her gaze and said, "well let me see if I can do a direct channeling and see if there's any information for you." I often get messages through words, and this time I heard the name Carol in my head. I asked her if she knew someone named Carol? She said yes and wanted to know if there was something important she needed to know. I told her that she was a close friend of hers who really needed her help right now. She queried me further asking what help her friend needed. It all seemed to be flowing now. "She's really down and just needs you to be there for her." The woman looked at me and said, "You're totally right about my friend." She then explained that her friend had been going through a very hard time, and that normally they would keep in touch by sms every day, but that she hadn't heard from her in a few days and so was worried about her. I was amazed by my accuracy and how my channel seemed to be so clear, allowing the information to flow through me. She thanked me then and said she would call her friend tonight to see how she was.

So I'm thinking my former teacher just might be wrong about me? he he he.... More adventures to come from Spiritweavergal soon!

Big Shifts in Our Mist

2011-07-12T23:58:00.000-07:00

I have been feeling a strong desire to return to my blog & begin sharing my experiences with anyone out there in the world who might also be going through something similar, or may find solace and/or healing through my words. It is my intention to be in service to humanity in anyway that I am able. At this time, things are accelerating quickly as we continue our spiritual transformation which is moving us into a higher vibrational frequency. I think many of you may be feeling some strange symptoms, feelings or having unusual thoughts. This is what I'm currently experiencing. My third eye seems to be activating. I have periods throughout the day when it gets really hot almost to the point where it feels like it's burning. I also get this feeling but less often, in the center of my chest. I've been feeling very tired too, but having difficulty sleeping well. An inexplicable sadness has come over me along with a remembering of all the people who I perceive have hurt me in some way in my past. These old feelings of hurt, betrayal, anger, confusion and longing or all washing over me -- pounding me with an intensity that I have never quite experienced before. It's as though I'm being forced to assess my life and make a decision about whether I'm really willing to face the challenge of making a monumental shift in all of my limiting beliefs and thought patterns. It is honestly a painful process emotionally, spiritually & physically. I'm also experiencing stiffness particularly on the left side of my body which goes down my leg and into my left arm and shoulder. I realize that this is the feminine aspect which I'm struggling with. I want to go deeper and look at this. On what level am I denying my feminine? Myself? I invite anyone out there who is experiencing something similar or has their own story to share, to please comment. I believe that we can all help each other through this time, which is really a blossoming. It's akin to having growing pains, but these pains are actually a gift -- we are in the process of embodying are highest potential of love and light.

Blessings & joy,

Spiritweaver

Releasing, Realigning & Rejoicing

2011-01-31T07:57:00.000-08:00

The path to realizing our natural state of wholeness is not always an easy one. In fact, for most of us it can be downright challenging! There is often a natural inclination to resist facing our painful memories, traumas or fears, because no one wants to dredge up uncomfortable thoughts or painful feelings. However, it is true that what we resist will persist, so unless we want those events to continue to influence us or even debilitate us, then we must find the courage to face them. Once we do we can then realign ourselves and discover the joy that we all deserve to have in our lives.

Through my studies of a variety of healing modalities I’ve come to realize that most if not all illness begins in the mind. It is here that the thoughts originate which then become feelings and finally manifest into physical form. Thus, I have no doubt that if we can shift our misperceptions or negative thinking, we can ultimately prevent illness from manifesting in our bodies. This is key so I will say it again: ‘if we can shift our mis-perceptions or negative thinking, we can ultimately prevent illness from manifesting in our bodies.’

There has been a lot of evidence which indicates that we can change our minds through meditation. I strongly support this, as I myself have experienced significant shifts in my state of mind through meditation over the years. On the other hand, it may take many years of meditation practice before someone experiences dramatic changes in their thinking. Additionally, it requires someone to be a very skilled practitioner to be able to face and transform traumatic life experiences through meditation. Life is becoming more and more stressful for many people. Thus, they often don’t have the time to reflect and consciously shift their thinking so that they can live more harmonious lives. Instead, many people are seeking more immediate ways to find relief from their painful life experiences.

One day I was chatting with a friend who also does energetic healing and the light bulb went off. I had this idea that by combining energy psychology with Reiki, that people might be able to experience a quicker and smoother release of their past traumatic events, phobias, etc. As a result if this flash of inspiration, I began giving sessions to friends to test my theory, and to my surprise the results were quite profound. People frequently reported feeling a total release of their painful events or traumatic experiences which they’d carried with them throughout their lives. The memory of the event was still there, but their reaction to that event had become totally neutralized.

I didn’t know what to call this new modality that I’d created, but then I came up with the name: ‘Emotional Therapy Thru Reiki Chakra Clearing’ (ETRCC) with a friend one day over tea. ETRCC is a powerful new system which combines working with a person’s meridians (energy channels) through self-administered acupressure in combination with Reiki. In this treatment, I assist the client with locating the chakra(s) which directly corresponds to his or her problem, and then I channel Reiki to this chakra(s) while verbally guiding the client to create a photo of his or her experience, switching from this photo to the ‘here and now’ or an idyllic image until the client experiences a total release. The release happens gradually and it usually takes only 20 – 30 minutes depending on how deeply the client has been affected by the traumatic event or experience. Thus, in one 60 minute session, I am usually able to address two problems.

Over the past year I’ve continued to offer ETRCC sessions and have been pleasantly surprised by the positive results of this powerful healing modality. I’m now coming to the realization that ETRCC is something that can benefit many people, so I’ve begun teaching ETRCC workshops in Bali, Singapore and Malaysia with the intention that other people can learn it to help their family, friends and themselves. I’ve been recently guided to create a training program for those who would like to become ETRCC practitioners and/or eventually become ETRCC instructors. The universe continues to amaze me with all the wonderful opportunities that have been presented to me in my life. I am excited to see what will happen next.

Letting Go

2009-09-25T02:06:00.000-07:00

There comes a point in life when we have to let go of someone or something that we've truly loved or cherished. Maybe it is a close friend whom we've always felt connected with, but as time passed we realized that we were moving in totally different directions. Or maybe a relative or pet has died, and we've had to say goodbye knowing that we would never see that person or animal again who had played such an important role in our life.

As all of us our ascending up the spiritual ladder, our energies are rapidly shifting, bringing us up yet another rung. With these shifts in energies we are being redesigned so to speak. Our DNA is completely changing which in turn has a profound effect on our psyches. Who we once were or who we thought we were no longer exists. The new person we are becoming is our purest and highest selves. It is through this transformation that we are gradually realizing that we are no longer resonating at the same vibration as numerous people in our lives. We may feel ourselves starting to separate from them and not know exactly why, but just feel a kind of natural moving away. This separation can be painful and quite challenging, but it is a natural process that must occur in order for us to continue our ascension up the ladder.

I have recently been in the midst of letting a few special people go in my life that I never expected to have to release. The more I resist, the harder it is for me to let go, so now I am opening my hand and heart to the process, because I believe this is part of my divine plan. I let go with love wishing those loved ones a life of joy and beauty. I give thanks for the lessons we have all learned from one another and wish them well on their journeys. Perhaps we will meet up again and pick up where we left off, but if not, it's okay.

Blessed Be,
Spiritweaver

Following signs

2009-04-22T19:01:00.000-07:00

I recently made a trip to the USA with the purpose of bringing my 11 year old son Danil back to his dad in Washington state. It was a difficult decision that his father and I had to make, but we both felt that it was time for Danil to live in one place and form close bonds with his friends. He had been living in two worlds -- Bali and the USA -- spending six months in each place. While this had worked well for some time, offering him a rich multi-cultural experience, I knew that the time had come for him to make roots somewhere. There were many considerations, but primary in my mind was Danil's happiness and that he had access to a good education which was affordable.

Education in Indonesia is not free, and the local schools are still using out-dated teaching methods with primarily teacher-centered classes. I knew this wasn't the kind of education I wanted for Danil, so he had been attending a small private school which was costly. The obvious choice was for him to return to the USA where education is still free. Living abroad has made me realize how fortunate I am to come from a country where education is free and available to all no matter what your economic background is.

Saying goodbye to Danil was painful, because I knew we wouldn't see eachother for a long time. While I was on the phone to him just before my return to Bali, Danil began to cry saying, "I'm so sad that you're leaving, mom." His words struck me deep within. I took a deep breath and tried not to cry. Afterwards I thought about my mom's question in the car on our way to Santa Fe the week before. She'd asked me, "What could I have done better as a mother?"

I replied, "I wish you'd spent more time with me when I was 11 - 16 years old. I felt like you were always too busy studying for school, which made me feel so alone."

That night I got on a plane to Seattle and sat next to a hip looking young man in his twenties who was on his way home to Portland. We started chatting and had an instant rapport. He shared stories with me about his job, life in Portland, his girlfriend, etc. Finally I began to open up and told him that I had just left my son Danil behind which had been very hard for both of us.

He turned to me and said without hesitation, " Your son really needs you now. You should move back to the states so that you can be closer to him."

It was at that moment that all the pieces came together, and I realized that this was the only truth that mattered -- not my career or my comfortable life on Bali, but my son, Danil. I didn't want to look back on my life and regret that I hadn't been close by when he really needed me. I didn't want to ask Danil one day like my mother had asked me, "What could I have done better as a mother?" and hear Danil say with sadness, "You should have lived nearby so that I could have asked you for help when I needed it."

The truth of the matter was painful to face, but I knew that once I returned to Bali I would begin the steps to move back to the USA with my husband Dewa and our son Jeevan, Danil's half brother. With this new clarity and sureness of the direction I must take, came a deep peace.

I smiled at the young man sitting next to me and said, "Thank you."

"What for?"

"For helping me see that my family is the most important thing in my life."

Stop to smell the Frangipanis

2009-04-22T02:05:00.000-07:00

I don't know how four months have passed since my last blog entry, but they have. I guess I got caught up in the illusion of chaos that life can sometimes present us with. Since my recent return from a 3 week vacation to the USA, I have been blessed with the realization that life is only as complicated as we make it. Spending time with my parents showed me that we all create our own reality which isn't reality at all, but only our perception of what we think is real. It is after all, the only thing that keeps us going -- our belief that our reality is the absolute truth, and everyone else's which doesn't match our own must be wrong.

Every day I was faced with the challenge of not allowing myself to get caught up in the confusing mess of it all. Most days I could see the humor in all our madness and thus, was able to let it roll off my back. But there were those days when I thought I'd had enough of ____'s reality; it was just too out of whack for me! Again there was my ego creeping in just as a reminder that I still had such a long way to go before I'd ever awaken to the truth.

Even so, as I look out at my garden which is in clear view of our open-air living space I feel a deep inner peace -- a peace akin to how I felt a long time ago after a one week intensive meditation retreat in Seoul, Korea. I do not sit in meditation as often as I would like, but that's okay. Today I recognized for the first time as I stopped to smell the Frangipanis that my practice is in my daily life. It is there when I read a book to my son and I am fully present; it is there when I talk to a friend without worrying about what I need to do next, and it is there when I take a conscious breath, thankful that I am alive for one more day.

Our Stories

2008-12-15T17:55:00.000-08:00

I recently did a PEAT (Primordial Energy Activation & Transcendence) workshop held in Ubud. During the course we learned about our 'Primes' - the dualities that we come into the world with. Mine turned out to be innocence/wisdom, which makes so much sense when I look back at my life and see the games I've played with these opposites in various incidents that I encountered.

We all have our own story or game. In a sense it is the lesson we are often faced with in our lives. Will we choose to play the game in the same way each time our lesson surfaces for us or will we opt to react in a different manner? Eckhart Tolle talks about this in his books and lectures how we all tend to get caught up in our stories. He gave a wonderful example about this during his talk at Findhorn and I am paraphrasing but it went something like this: "maybe we are worrying about our finances, a fight we had with our partners or something else but then we hear a bird singing a beautiful song. For that moment we have the opportunity to get out of our heads or continue being wrapped up in our story, whatever that may be." If we take the opportunity to be in the moment and hear the bird's song, then we will understand that there are no real problems other than those we create in our minds.

With our minds we have the power to create our realities. I think many of us have experienced this in our lives as we continue to manifest our dreams or our nightmares. What we focus on will manifest. I have no doubt about this. Why then do we so often choose to focus on the negative aspects of our lives? Yes, it is true that there are many things about life that are difficult. We all have encountered death, sadness, suffering and heartbreaks, but we have also experienced great joy. I think the key is to recognize our sorrows but then release them into the wind...observing these emotions as they arise but not attaching ourselves to them. Therein lies the key to maintaining peace, but it is easier said then done.

I can only speak from my own experience that meditation has helped me a great deal to find peace of mind and help me detach more from my discursive thoughts. I have been doing it for many years and still feel that I have a long way to go, but each day I see some progression with my mind, however minute that may be. This is not to say that meditation will be the cure-all and that we will always be able to maintain a calm mind and a clear heart, but when those times arise that we get caught up in our emotions, our practice may help us recognize that this is just our story and it is not reality. At that moment, we can make a choice to engage in the drama or story or shift our reactions. It is with this awareness that we will ultimately discover the truth of who we are and hopefully move to a higher way of being.

Blessings,
Spirit Weaver

Do No Harm

2008-11-25T17:44:00.001-08:00

I have a dear friend who practices the principal 'Do no harm' which is something I have been working with for a long time. This encompasses so many things -- the thoughts we think about others, what we say or don't say, how we project our voices, pass a look, what we write in our emails or on our hand phones when we sms others, and how we live our lives. It is a great responsibility to live in this way and takes a presence of mind, body and spirit that is not always easy to maintain.

Today I woke up and turned on my phone and found an sms that a friend had sent me the night before. She was clearly upset with me, because her message was hurtful, judging me for something that she felt was a weakness in my character. As I read the words she wrote, I felt a pain in my heart. I couldn't understand why anyone who is living a life committed to helping others on their spiritual path would say such hurtful things. Something told me that her words had a message for me that I couldn't clearly see until I could get past the pain. I sat down and did PEAT to myself. This is a wonderful new energy psychology technique that involves placing your fingers on specific meridian points around the eyes while breathing in deeply and fully accepting the emotion that you are experiencing. I did this for about 5 minutes until I felt a sense of calm come over me. At that point, I instinctively changed the protocol and asked myself: 'what message do I need to get from this situation?" The answer was clearly: 'Do no harm to others'. I saw through my friend's actions how deeply words can hurt another; how no matter what anger we may be feeling about a situation, we need to take pause before we react or act and consider how what we may say or do can hurt another being. She gave me an important lesson that I hope I can carry with me for future interactions with others. For that, I am eternally grateful to my friend.

Each day life presents us with lessons for us to learn and grow. There is always a moment of choice when we can either give into our egos or take the higher path. It is often just a split second, but in that moment we are given a window of opportunity. As the new day dawns we can set an intention for ourselves, e.g, 'Today I will pause before I react' or 'Today I will be more patient and understanding towards others' or whatever intention you want to make. Through our intention to awaken and grow we shall make this a reality. That's the magic of living with joy.

Blessings,
Spirit Weaver

Opening Our Hearts

2008-11-22T00:05:00.000-08:00

Today I went to a funeral. The woman who died was the wife of a good friend of my husband Dewa. She was only 42 years old. While I didn't know her well, I still felt a connection to her through her husband's deep sorrow. As I looked into his eyes, I saw an unbelievable pain that he was trying to keep under control. He said to me, "Will you please help us." It wasn't a question, it was a plea. At that moment I felt my heart expanding, wishing that I could somehow take his suffering away. I saw his son playing with some Dutch children; he seemed totally unaware that his mother was gone. The only thing that I could think of doing was send Reiki. I sat in a plastic chair inside their garage watching him and his son eat some Mie Goreng and I channeled Reiki to them, feeling the energy radiating out of my hands which felt so cold at first. Then the energy shifted and became prickly, as it reached through another layer. Soon my hands were hot and even itchy. They almost felt like they were burning, but I didn't care. I just kept channeling Reiki to them. At that moment I could only feel that my heart had become one with their hearts and the sadness that they carried I too carried. There was no difference between them and me.

It is at these times when the pain can almost seem unbearable, that we need to push beyond and open our hearts fully to it. Whatever we resist will persist, but if we open up to whatever is, then that emotion or pain we are experiencing will be transmuted. As I write this blog today I feel the tears streaming from my eyes. I feel so grateful for my husband and my two beautiful sons. It's funny how tragedies often make us wake up and realize that all those silly things that irk us are of little importance. Instead, I'm waking up to the fact that all that matters is love. That through our love of everyone and ourselves we can experience true ecstasy and find freedom from suffering. All our petty concerns are truly meaningless. Please if you are reading this, wake up! Forget about your grudges and your hatreds towards others. Just forgive and love. That's all that really matters. Live your life joyfully and to the fullest, because you never know what tomorrow will bring.

Blessings,
Spirit Weaver

Death Brings a Message

2008-11-19T21:09:00.000-08:00

Last night I awoke to my husband's phone ringing around 2am. I heard him speaking in Indonesian, the rhythm of his voice slowed down as he spoke softly into the phone. Something inside of me told me that the news wasn't good. He ended the call and turned to me saying, "my friend's wife is dead. I don't know what to do. What should I do?" It was a big shock so at first I didn't know what to say. I looked deep within and felt that there was some kind of a message here. In the last month 5 people we knew have died. Most of them unexpectedly and suddenly.

I couldn't go back to sleep for several hours after my husband left for the hospital to be with his friend. He returned early this morning looking tired and sad. His friend was devastated by the loss of his wife and no words of comfort would change his intense longing for her. I didn't know his wife well, but I have known him for a couple of years.

I got out of bed to start my day, but felt confused about what to do. There was this nagging feeling that I was missing something -- were all these recent deaths trying to tell me to wake up to my own life? My feeling is that the message is much bigger than me. There are so many shifts happening on this planet at this time in preparation for the major transformation that will occur in 2012. I believe that many people have decided to leave before that time, for they have chosen not to be a part of this powerful transformation that will change the world as we know it.

The information that I have received through my meditations has indicated that the planet will go through much upheaval, but ultimately it will be regenerated with an entirely new system and way of being. The remaining people will live peacefully amongst each other and relate with loving kindness and acceptance. We are all being given the opportunity right here and now to change our lives and fulfill our life's purpose. The inner messages that we get right now are our clues to what actions we need to take to stay on course.

By making a commitment to our awakening and discovering our true nature, we are honoring our connection with the divine which connects us to all beings on this planet. As with death there is always new life, we are being challenged to let go of our old and limiting patterns that we've carried around for centuries. This is the death of the old self in order to give birth to our new and higher selves. There is nothing to fear, as this will lead us to transformation.

Healing oneself

2008-11-19T00:12:00.000-08:00

A former student of mine and friend sent me a message today saying that she was in a great deal of pain and going through a rough time. I promised to send her some Reiki during my meditation which I did through visualizing the symbols and imagining that I was sending them to her. After my meditation I called her to see if she had felt the healing. She told me that she had, but that she had also felt a healing earlier when I said that I would send her distance Reiki. At that time, I was actually working on my computer, but I was thinking about my intention to send her the Reiki as soon as I finished something that I was working on. It was only a thought, an intention, yet she felt that as an actual healing. We talked about this wondering if it did come from me or somewhere else? Energy is such an incredible thing available to all of us. We only need to access it through our intentions.

We both talked about how as healers we are ready to send healing to others, but rarely do we think of helping ourselves when we really need it. Why is that? Maybe on some level healers don't believe that they deserve to be healed? I can see how powerful Reiki is by how many people have been helped by this wonderful healing energy, so why do I hesitate to give this to myself? This is the shift that I am ready to make. I have to begin to realize that I can heal myself and deserve to be healed. It is a shift in thinking that has been a long time coming.

It is a blessing to be a vehicle for channeling Reiki for someone else's benefit, but this energy can be channeled for us too. If you are not a Reiki practitioner, you can still channel healing through visualizing a white golden light cascading down from the crown of your head, all the way through every cell and molecule of your body until you feel totally purified. This visualization is very helpful for healing oneself. Remember, it is our intention to heal and our belief that we can be healed that will make this a reality for all of us.

Blessings,
Spirit Weaver